DAILY PROMPT: INSIDE THE ACTOR’S STUDIO
On the interview show Inside the Actors’ Studio, host James Lipton asks each of his guests the same ten questions. What are your responses?
1. What is your favourite word?
Oh come on, now! One? Words are a smorgasbord of irresistible, luscious delight, each one to be rolled around the tongue and savoured to the full, before you swallow the unimportant, spit out the unworthy and relish the rest to the last seductive drop. But if you insist – bollocks is good. And codswallop.
2. What is your least favourite word?
Panties. It makes my teeth curl. It’s so coyly, nauseatingly twee.
3. What turns you on, creatively spiritually or emotionally?
Wallowing in the surf on a cloudlessly blue February day, when the water is warm, and so clear that your feet look luminous against the sandy bottom. The tourists have gone, the dolphins have arrived…
4. What turns you off?
Bigotry and stupidity in those who should know better. Self-righteousness. Arrogance. High, ultra-girly voices in grown women who probably also bat their eyelashes.
5. What is your favourite curse word?
Shit covers a lot. Fuck I save for special occasions. Bloody is an Australian ‘must-have’.
6. What sound or noise do you love?
Babies giggling. Rain on a tin roof. The surf in the dead of night.
7. What sound or noise do you hate?
That dead pause before the call centre tries to talk to you about insurance schemes, funeral plans, your phone bill, your energy bill – etc ad nauseam.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Nothing now, thanks very much. Back in the day I might have fancied all sorts of exotic and unsuitable alternatives, but now… See Aging 101: Contentment is a wonderful thing. Don’t play fast and loose with it.
9. What profession would you not like to do?
An academic. It’s what some of my mentors had in mind for me, and when I think about it, the chaos and near-disaster that stopped it happening were probably me subconsciously shooting myself in the foot. God, it would be so boring!
Being a politician would be pretty awful too: the arrogance, stupidity, manipulation, rorting, sycophancy, lies, damned lies and statistics that ooze their way round the corridors of power would have me in a permanent paroxysm of rage and frustration. Not that I’ve got anything against polis, you understand.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
It’s OK, your mother-in-law is in the other place.