I am teetering on the brink of biting the bullet and putting my novel up on Smashwords and Amazon. But true to form, instead of doing the hard yakka involved in pushing myself over the brink – reading the volumes of advice and information available on the net, or even downloading and printing the volumes of advice and information, so that I can kick back in my recliner and read them in comfort – instead of doing any of that, I’m raving on here instead.
First up, it’s probably a sign of my ambivalence. If agents don’t want it (which they don’t), shouldn’t I just assume it’s not worth reading, and consign it to the bottom drawer? Is this just a case of vanity and self-indulgence trumping commonsense? I wrote it on the strict understanding (with myself) that was NFP. So what am I thinking?
Secondly, it’s quite possible (likely?) that the whole process is beyond my technical ignorance, and it will end up looking like a dog’s breakfast. What’s more the cover will cost me money I don’t have, (if indeed I can find a designer who’ll do what I have in mind), and the business of extricating myself from the American tax system is potentially a can of worms.
But worst of all, if I put it out there, I’ll have to sashay on out after it, the very thought of which is so hideous it sends me scuttling for the mole hole whimpering with fear. But there’s not much point in doing one without the other: at the very least, I’d need to recoup the cost of the cover. I do have a Facebook page (on which I haven’t posted for months), but tweeting is a mystery I have minus desire to fathom, and telling everyone how brilliant the book is would be a downright lie, thus violating the first golden rule of my upbringing. It isn’t brilliant. It’s fluff. Reasonably well written fluff, I hope, and reasonably entertaining on a wet Sunday, but spectacularly lacking in the profundity and spiritual insight needed for the Great Australian Novel. (Which I didn’t set out to write and never will, but that’s beside the point.)
So having now pretty much managed to convince myself that the whole idea is stupid, I shall go and read someone else’s book (far better for my blood pressure) and think again tomorrow. Maybe.