Yesterday you invented a new astrological sign. Today, write your own horoscope — for the past month (in other words, as if you’d written it October 1st).
Predictions for October
You will work hard this month, so best you get yourself off your slothful backside early on, to prepare for what is to come. With Mercury retrograde, your computer will spit the dummy a time or two, and bits will start dropping off your car (which in car terms is even older than you, proved by the fact that bits haven’t yet started dropping off you – but it’s only a matter of time).
And waddya know, it all came true!
However I am now home again, and the only lasting damage is that the handle on the inside of the driver’s door is in several pieces, most now in the glove box. It’s still possible to make the little treasure work with a bit of careful jiggling – or alternatively, to roll the window down and open from the outside. Effective, but not recommended in wet weather.
So what of November?
You will probably return to your lazy ways, more shame on you!
(Not hard to see that one coming.)