Dear WordPress…

Before I begin, I should perhaps point out that I am in comprehensively bad mood.

Globally… Too many citizens of this planet are greedy, grasping, self-centred, self-important, bigoted wankers strutting and fretting their hour upon the stage, fighting for the spotlight and more than their fair share of the props as if they won’t be just as dead as everyone else when the curtain comes down on their particular act. If we could get our hands out of our own and everyone else’s pockets and put them to good use, we do now have the smarts and the opportunity to stop the rot of ages, light the whole stage instead of only bits of it, and multiply the props to provide enough for all comers. We’d still be on our way to dusty death, but at least by then the soil might be good enough to sustain the daisies we popped up. But given the abovementioned greed, it seems unlikely to happen anytime soon.

Personally… It’s the lead up to Christmas, which is usually one of the best times of year: summer heat, Christmas trees and mince pies, cherries and mangoes, crickets chirping in the dusk and the smell of baking spiced with secrets. But this year? Pfft. Flat as a tack. Maybe it’s the state of the world (as above), the weather (grey), me (tired), and/or the stress levels of family members (high but temporary). Or maybe it’s the fact that the TV silly season has started, and for two months, we’ll be fed drivel and pap whose sheer banal awfulness excoriates my soul and insults my intelligence. Take your pick.

And then we get to YOU, dear WordPress – with special reference to the Daily Prompt.

While I realise that most of your members live in the US of A, some of us – believe it or not – don’t. In fact I live in Australia. You know – Aus-tray-lee-ah. That place where kangaroos hop down city streets, everyone says bewdy bottler mate somewhere in every sentence, and everyone has a view of a Big Red Rock – except for those who look out on the main street with the kangaroos. And – also believe it or not – we are 15 to 20 hours ahead of you, depending on where in the US you live, daylight saving time and similar geographic and temporal variations. Which means that for a lot of your waking hours, it’s already tomorrow here.

I don’t expect you to get your heads around this, but what would be nice would be if you’d take my word for it and post the Daily Prompt before brekkie instead of after occasionally, thus giving us aliens a chance to get in our tuppenceworth while you lot are still awake yesterday.

Furthermore, some of us live in a different hemisphere – ie, south of the equator. You know – the e-kway-ter: that line that runs around the fat bit of the globe, below which is not a pair of legs, a set of shoulders or a table, but a whole nother half of the world, albeit in reverse, with the icy stuff at the bottom instead of the top, more wet bits and fewer dry bits, and summer and winter in the wrong months. And once again, acknowledging our existence from time to time would make us ever so chuffed.

I am sure you’re itching to say We’re American, suck it up. But since you claim to be the world’s biggest and best – and since ‘the world’ includes us and xenophobic statements might taint your aura of inclusiveness – I’m guessing you’ll simply continue to ignore me and others like me, and skip on your merry way through the twinkling lights of a white Christmas. Such is life in Terra Incognita.

Doesn’t mean we don’t get irritated from time to time.

Yours sincerely

Over It in Oz.

Oh – and before you get your knickers in a knot about perceived insults to your intelligence, you might want to check out the image you project in your choice of topics for the Daily Prompt.

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27 Responses to Dear WordPress…

  1. Made me smile. I never (or hardly) read the daily prompts at the start. They answer too fast, just to be there. 3 – 4 lines so called poems or a photo that doesn’t make sense and voila another daily prompt. I read the other way around and know I am not the only one. Quiet a few bloggers I know think like me. Last but not least :-).

  2. ashokbhatia says:

    Tongue in cheek, this one. May I know the precise meaning of ‘nother world’ please? Did you mean ‘another’ or ‘nether’?

    Just love the Terra Incognito bit!

  3. Go Helen! I can imagine your fingers must have left scorch marks on the keyboard.

  4. wscottling says:

    It might help if they knew that “chuffed” is a good thing. The first time I heard it I thought it meant the opposite of what it really means. And I’m with you here. I think they’re way to USA-centric at the daily prompt and often rant about it in my answers

  5. Martha Kennedy says:

    Well, it’s pretty cold and dark up here. I have to say that. Wish I were in the land of mangoes and cherries and hot summer days, but I’m not. I’m in the Heaven of Colorado, but yes. It is winter here…

    The Daily Prompts are awful and I keep wondering why I do this — but I gave myself a year and that year is concluded on 12/21/2014. I began on 12/22/2013. I had 500 followers as of today, but someone dropped out; possibly didn’t like the word “fuck” in something, who knows.

    Greed isn’t new. It’s been bad-wording up the world forever, I think. If we can fix stupid, greed might follow along.

    As for being USA centered, they are physically in California and that’s a law and USA unto itself… Definitely provincial.

    I just think that 8 times out of ten the prompt is stupid and insulting but I no longer think WordPress is in the business of coming up with good prompts (I did in the beginning). It’s a platform for people who pay to blog here, bring money to WP and themselves through blogging. But as with most of life, I’ve pretty much decided I have to take the bitter with the sweet, so I might as well focus on the sweet since the bitter comes unbidden, as does the spirit of Christmas.

    • You’re right, of course. And you’re cordially invited to spend Christmas with us – we can also promise lots of watermelon and a healthy Christmas spirit, although we don’t have much control over the weather 🙂
      If we mean the same thing by stupid, which we probably do – wilful stupidity rather than lack of intelligence or education – then I suspect it’s largely governed by single-minded self-interest to the detriment of commonsense, which is a sort of emotional greed. And yes, both of them have been there forever. Usually I can let it go over my head, but our current PM and Treasurer are so blatantly bad-wording up the country in their own interests, it’s like a punch in the gut.

      • Martha Kennedy says:

        Well, I live in the US, remember? 😉 That has been going on here with great intensity for the past 15 years. I do not recognize this country any more. That’s one reason I “dropped out.” It’s nice in this impoverished and remote part of Colorado. 🙂

      • Martha Kennedy says:

        P.S. I looked into emigrating… One needs a good bit of capital to do that.

    • where I live sounds fairly similar except that it’s ocean instead of mountains, and thanks to summer holidaymakers, not totally impoverished.

  6. Noah Weiss says:

    I liked this post. Indeed, many things are USA-centric or Euro-centric. The time shifts always confuse me when considering the International Date Line.

    (In fact, clocks are certainly Eurocentric, given that GMT is in the center. Maybe I should write a blog post about it!)

    And one other thing: I have definitely used “a whole nother” construct before… funny how people not only split infinitives, but now split words!

  7. Monicle says:

    They can ignore Canada and we are attached to them. I often marvel that another country is only an hours drive but worlds away from here. I can’t understand Canadians that rush down there on Black Friday for ‘bargains’….. they are insane.
    My pick is silly stuff on TV. How can there be so many channels and nothing on? Because it’s all crap!

  8. Beth says:

    WordPress might neglect the Australians, but I love hearing what you and a few others from the land down under are up to! When the Brits are sleeping, the Aussies are awake, so somewhere in the English-speaking world, bloggers from faraway lands are speaking via WordPress.

    I use my poison pen too sometimes and wouldn’t be without it! I know what you’re saying about the global state of things and I find it really discouraging too alot of the time. Drivel and commercialism everywhere you go. In terms of government decisions and corporations’ influence, we’re doing pretty miserably over here too. It’s why I keep to my Hermitage:0))

    Just figured out how to get Kindle onto my computer and will be reading Six Weeks in Summer – congratulations on publishing it! Merry Christmas to you, Helen!

    • Merry Christmas to you too, Beth. And I hope you enjoy SWiS.
      I’m usually fairly philosophical about life in general, these days (the joy of age!) but the rampant elitism of our current government has goes so far against the grain that it’s brought me out fighting.

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