You’re given unlimited funds to plan one day full of any and all luxuries you normally can’t afford. Tell us about your extravagant day with as much detail as possible.
Maybe I’m unnatural.
Oh for goodness sake! You’ve been unnatural for most of your natural life, so stop the pretend coy and get on with it. You have no interest in a manicure, even less in a pedicure, a day spa would bore the crap out of you, and having someone slap goo on your face to ‘tone’ your skin would be a thoroughly irritating exercise in futility. In fact you have never had the faintest yen for any of those things the Modern Western Woman apparently considers desirable – if not essential – contributions to her comfort and wellbeing. (You might consider a haircut soon, though. Just saying…)
So what would constitute luxury in my life? Right at this minute, having someone come in and blitz clean my apartment is looking pretty attractive. You know – the full spring clean effort: remove the cobwebs from the cornices, excavate the dust bunnies from under the sofa, dust every square inch, make the shower screen sparkle – all those things I should be doing right this minute…
…and most of which I have now done, conscience have reached critical mass. Which is why I’ve returned to you slightly jellied. The energy demanded for housework seems to exceed supply, these days. My grandmother would be horrified – she who whitewashed the steps at 85, lest the cleaner think she was lazy. She’d probably put it down to my drinking coffee too young – although others might suggest it’s my cavalier attitude to meals. Me, I’d like to think it was age and roll with it: if I can’t let myself off the hook in my 70s, when can I? (When you have money, my pet, and that will be happening…when?) But then again, the age defence is a two-edged sword. If I’m too old for the housework, where does that leave the surf? And really, I have a nasty sneaking suspicion that it’s really down to lack of practice and Bad Attitude.
So there you are. Ask a silly question, you get a silly answer.