Forgive and Forget?
Share a story where it was very difficult for you to forgive the perpetrator for wronging you, but you did it — you forgave them.
It’s a funny thing, this old ‘forgive and forget’ business. I’ve never really got my head around it.
My kids, for example: I accept them lock stock and barrel. We’ve been cross with each other from time to time (surprise!) and hurt each other occasionally, but that’s just normal human interaction. We calm down, get over it, and move on. What’s ‘forgive and forget’ got to do with it?
In terms of other people… I guess for me, ‘forgiving’ someone suggests a certain assumption of moral superiority, an act of ‘bestowal’, which restricts it to god and the very smug. I’m not sure I can feel what it would be like, this act of forgiving. Like bestowing a knighthood? Arise, oh forgiven one? Does this wipe out niggling hurts in an all-consuming glow of virtue? Nah. Never done that.
On the other hand, I don’t wish anyone ill (which I assume is the opposite of forgiveness) or bear a grudge against anyone. They did what they did for reasons of their own. Maybe those reasons felt valid to them. Who am I to judge?
Forgetting, though… That’s something else. The flare-ups you have with friends and relations … poof! Gone. But if someone wrongs you systematically or with malice aforethought, you’d be stupid to forget it, wouldn’t you: to skip blithely on out there oblivious of the fact that you’re likely to have your head kicked in. Even rats learn that one, eventually.