S A D

This is the time of year when I’m at my flattest and least inspired. The end of winter is in sight, but the energy required to endure the previous few months has sapped my spirit so effectively that it’s hard to imagine the light at the end of tunnel is not the headlamp of the oncoming train.

Logically, I know this is nonsense. It happens every year. Spring will come, summer will come, and one o’ these mornings, I’m gonna rise up singing. As it were. But at the moment – logic, smogic.

Being old, I was brought up in an era where ‘pulling yourself together’ was a mandatory part of civilised society, and failure to do so was shameful to the point of scandalous. So I feel guilty even entertaining the thought that it’s possibly not All My Fault: Seasonal Affective Disorder might be real, and not some new-fangled gobbledegook excuse for bad behaviour. It would be letting myself off the hook to regard my current state of mind as anything but mental laziness, lack of discipline and probably self-indulgence. Although if I were going to indulge myself, I’d have thought I’d come up with something more enjoyable.

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16 Responses to S A D

  1. bkpyett says:

    I do hope the brighter weather isn’t far away and that you are soon feeling on top of things again, Helen. Just watching the changes in the sky and ocean must be magical! ❤

  2. Fran Macilvey says:

    Dinnae fash yersel’ hen. We had a warm, grey winter, a hot Easter and a grey summer….but it helps not to take it personally. Get outside as often as you can, in all weathers, and take some vitamin D. Lots of love. Hope you can go swimming soon.

    XXXXX

  3. Monicle says:

    I know the feeling….. feeling too down to do anything then guilty about not doing anything.

  4. We’ve all been there. Better days are coming. Try not to be hard on yourself. ❤️

  5. steelcityman says:

    You are much too hard on yourself Helen. I too am of the generation that’s spent most of it’s life ‘pulling oneself together’, but now I’m getting on a bit, I allow myself the odd day when I take a ‘Don’tgiveahoot’ pill and then stand easy and let the world whizz by …. Don’t feel guilty, feel relaxed 🌹🌹🌹

  6. I know that SAD is a real thing. I don’t suffer from it, but I know people who do. Maybe I use the computer so much, it replaces sunshine? I do know that by the time spring comes, I am SOOOOO ready to see the sun! Between the darkness and the cabin fever from being locked in by snow and ice, winter always seems a lot longer than it really is!

    • Thank you, that cheers me up a lot! But really, I don’t even have the excuse of snow and ice and cabin fever. Lowest daytime temperature it gets here is about 16C. I think it’s the feeling of suspended animation that gets to me.

  7. Aunt Beulah says:

    So this is what I call my “everything’s awful” day, days, weeks, month; fortunately, the mood has never lasted much more than a month. It’s especially dispiriting when food doesn’t taste good.

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