A classic question, revisited: what are the five items you must have on a deserted island?
If this were a serious proposition, I’d have to drop out right now. Unless I could take Bear Grylls along to do the survival bit for me. And if it happened to be a cold island, even Bear Grylls couldn’t save me.
The thing is, I’m too old for this sort of lark. I want a quiet life, and that doesn’t include a dodgy water supply, food on the hoof, unseen beasts lurking about me while I sleep and countless bugs making my days hideous. I don’t want to lose contact with my kids, either, and realistically, however lush the island, it wouldn’t have mobile or broadband connection.
I can understand the attraction of the stereotypical deserted island: sunshine and palm trees, crystal-clear water lapping on white sand. But I’ve just come back from a swim in my own piece of (delightfully warm, crystal-clear) Pacific to have a shower (in a bathroom with all the usual amenities, call me wimp), made a coffee and flopped into a comfortable chair in my bug-proof apartment five minutes from the white sand.
Why would I trade it?