Daily prompt: Pondering the End of Days


Seems the world is going to end on September 23, according to a very learned Methodist gentleman (don’t know why the Methodist bit is important) in Chicago whose name I have conveniently forgotten.

At this point, the good guys will be swept up to heaven and the rest of us (or the rest of them, depending on your status) will be left to endure seven years of catastrophic torment – although if the world has ended, the venue for this agony is problematic…

No wait, hang on. I seem to have got that wrong. Ish. September 23 isn’t exactly IT – kaboom – all gone. It’s the day when the sign will appear warning us of the beginning of the End of Days which will officially start on October 21, involving cataclysmic climatic events and the end of the world ‘as we know it’. So presumably there will be enough world left for the sufferers to writhe unimpeded.

I have to admit I do have a few problems with this whole concept. The first is obvious. I can’t bring myself to read/listen to the prophecy closely enough to master the details so I’m not entirely sure what to expect or when. Only that it won’t be good.

Secondly, if it turns out I’m one of the bad guys, what implications will that have for my allotted lifespan? In seven years I’ll be 81, and what if I was never meant to live that long? Will I score a few more years in order to fulfil the prophecy, or will I move on to the torment of hell instead – or possibly even make it to heaven on parole? And what happens after the seven years? Is that the ultimate kaboom moment?

Next, the world as I knew it disappeared down the gurgler a long time ago, so I’m not sure what ‘as we know it’ means.

But my biggest problem is this: September 23 here happens 14 to 17 hours before it happens in the US, and 15 hours before it happens in Chicago specifically, which would mean that if the axe is going to fall Chicago time, I can’t breathe easy even when it’s tomorrow here. Or does this mean that I and mine will face this thing 15 hours before the Methodist gentleman? And coincidentally, 17 hours before my son faces it, he being currently in LA? I’m not happy about this. Will he be spending 17 hours trying desperately to ascertain the fate of his family?

I suppose I could email the Methodist gentleman and ask him to clarify these things, but as it is now D-day + 15 minutes in Chicago (3.15 pm here), he could well be otherwise occupied.

Alternatively – and this, I’m ashamed to say, appeals to me more – I could send an email suggesting that his brain function would be vastly improved by dedicated consumption of leafy greens.


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9 Responses to Daily prompt: Pondering the End of Days

  1. lwbut says:

    I want to like this – TWICE! 😉 🙂

    To the best of my recollection (which,i admit, is getting less reliable these days!) i have lived through six such prophetically assured dates of the end of the world and guess what??…

    All wrong. (:-( sometimes to my annoyance!)

    I will happily bet aforementioned Methodist minister a million dollars his proves to be every bit as false prophesying (the Bible warns us there will be many false prophets before the end!) as the rest have been. Neither of us are going to be able to use it if he’s right but i’d quite like to be rich when he’s wrong! 😉

    Leafy greens would not help. This particular form of delusion goes way deep!

    Hope things are bearable over your way – Winter is having one last push before Summer over on this side! 🙂


    • Things are good here – forecast for tomorrow is 34 which is a bit excessive for September, but fortunately the local firies have done this year’s backburns so we shouldn’t have end of days bushfires.
      You’ll also be pleased to know that as of now, you have at least 2 hours to live (provided the axe is falling by the timezone) as I am still not suffering the torments of the damned and nor have I been whisked off to heaven. 🙂

  2. Thanks for the morning chuckle – leafy greens, indeed.

  3. I’m all about the apocalypse. It will solve so many problems. I’m going to get a bottle of good Italian red wine and some donuts (neither of which I can have) and find a nice lawn chair with a view and enjoy the show. 🙂 Unfortunately, none of these predictions are true and I’m afraid I’ll be stuck at the last minute going to the store.

  4. In one account of this NOT upcoming event, some NASA scientist said he was rooting for the beginning bang because he thought it would be terribly interesting, but then commented “I rather doubt it, though.”

    I can’t even remember how many apocalypses have been predicted since I was a child. But fear not. If we get the right international thing going, we might get one yet! There’s always hope.

    • Or as British physicist Brian Cox said, “If anyone else asks me about “Nibiru” the imaginary bullshit planet I will slap them around their irrational heads with Newton’s Principia”
      The scariest aspect of any international thing is that Kim Jong-un and Donald Trump will be in their respective bunkers and survive it all, and go on to repopulate the planet with little Kims and little Trumps. What a relief that we won’t be here to see it!

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