First we had scamper, then dash, and now we’ve got sail – an improvement as it involves less frenetic activity, but not something that inspires me to heights of creativity, even assuming I was familiar with creative heights.
For some people, sailing away on a cruise would be the height of enjoyment (if not creativity), but I am not one of them
The sailing away part would be fine – me, the limitless ocean, stops at interesting places… I could come to love that. But it wouldn’t be just me and the ocean, would it, and the thought of being trapped at sea with a few thousand strangers all out to Have a Good Time conjures up visions of Organised Games and Social Interaction that are enough to have me rushing (perhaps even scampering or dashing) for cover.
I am not good at group activities. Been there, done that. No more. Nor am I good at organised leisure time or organised tours. I want to see and do what I want to see and do, not what you think (knowing nothing about me) would interest me. And I want to see and do it in my own time and space, not at a time that suits you, and surrounded by those aforementioned strangers. Which quite possibly makes me a cranky old cow, but there’s nothing new in that.
Then there’s the food. Promos for cruises always wax lyrical about the food. ‘Fine dining’, they say. Or similar. And once again, this would be my idea of hell: trapped (even more tightly) at a table in front of a parade of courses, forced to sit there while more strangers exchange small talk, unable to leave without seeming crass and unmannerly – which I do try not to be however tempting.
Food and I are acquainted for reasons of survival. We do not do not spend hours in mutual love fests, and I’m pretty sure cruise managers count on foodie love fests to pass the time between organised activities. Which would leave me locked in my cabin for unspecified lengths of time. Cheaper to lock the front door at home.
And last but by no means least (for me) is the business of image. Participants in these sorts of cruises seem to like image – good gear, you know, and I simply don’t possess that kind of good gear, and would feel distinctly uncomfortable wearing it.
So that’s me done, for sail. See you tomorrow. All things being equal.